Ellis Bell, Farewell.* (fka everythingumean2me&more)

Ellis Bell, Farewell.* is my healing project. I spent much of the past three years comprehensively miserable. I could not begin to grasp the weight or severity of anything meaningful, and gave meaning to everything minuscule. The change was gradual but significant, and it started and ended with me. Every time I came home I felt as though a failure. I walked into every room assuming my place at the bottom. This project is born out of the beginning of that period, with melodies and sounds that I was discovering while falling in love. Even opening Ableton itself reminds me of this time. Every song on this project sounds like love to me. Every terribly sung lyric comes back to what will save and nearly kill me a million times.

The project conceptually represents an addendum. To relationships, to life itself. Life keeps going once you’re gone. You know this. It is a concept so inarticulately disturbing to me. It is so unnatural to the essence of life itself, and yet death is undeniably as natural as life. How are you doing it? How do you move through life with purpose knowing it will continue without you? What I have learned is that you do not need to be dead for life to move without you, but you need to be alive for death to scare you into moving.

I’m coming from a place no longer bleak but from which I was left hungry. I know trying and caring is remarkably passé, but truthfully, I do try and I do care. I want to be great at something so desperately. I’m left the only one in my path.

Please enjoy “Ellis Bell, Farewell.*”, out everywhere now. :-) This is only the beginning of the many projects I want to make under PROM FOR GEMINIS, a name I intend to turn into a collective portfolio of artistic expression for both myself and the beautiful people I meet who deserve to have their stories heard. 💌🌱

Oh, and thank you to the greatest book ever written, Wuthering Heights.